The Feminine Mistake

The Feminine Mistake

This is a society divided based upon gender. The males live on the South side of the great wall. The females live on the North side of the great wall. All children under the age of eighteen live on the North side with their mothers.

This has always been so. Ever since the beginning of time, the two populations have been living separately. It works better that way.

No love. No fighting. No rape. No violence. No distractions. No relationships.

You see this society is based on efficiency. And relationships lead to distractions, which lead to mistakes, which lead to a waste of time and resources. So relationships are banned.

Avoid the cause of the problem and you won’t have a problem.

Once a year, the single gate separating the two populations opens for a twenty four hour period. This is the only time the two populations get to interact with each other. If you are over the age of eighteen you have a responsibility to find a partner to mate with. After all, the population must continue to reproduce.

From a young age, the females are taught to stay away from the males. They are told that men are dangerous, that they are violent, that they are liars, and that they cause problems. The girls are taught that men are to be avoided at all costs until the mating day arrives. The girls are taught that this is the only day when men are able to be controlled. This is the only time when it is safe to approach a male and to come into physical contact with a male.

Mary is the head curriculum designer at the Academy of Feminism. She believes that the greatest mistake a woman can commit is to love a man. There is no worse crime possible. Loving a man goes against her moral code. It goes against the social code. It goes against the rules of the world.

The world only works because there is no love. Once love enters the picture, people become unpredictable. They make irrational decisions. They are incapable of reasonable and intellectual thought. People become uncontrollable and once they become uncontrollable, efficiency goes out the window.

Efficiency is the only reason Mary is here today. She can make sure that this world continues on its path of productivity, innovation and amelioration. The punishment for love is death.

Today is the mating day. Mary stands in front of the gate and looks beyond as the gate is slowly opened. On the other side stands a handsome, tall, dark haired man. He has green eyes. Mary is a sucker for green eyes. This was Mary’s first mate. Every year the two spend the entire day together.

Mary knows she has committed the Feminine mistake. Mary knows she is in love.  

Butterflies

Butterflies

I am Adam and today I got two butterflies tattooed on my left shoulder.

I go to Westbanks high. I am currently seventeen years of age and I have no idea what I am doing with my life.

About a month ago I got a phone call. It was 7:32 PM. Don’t ask how I remember the time, I just do.

It was from the hospital. They told me to come in right away. There was about to be a delivery.

I rushed to the hospital. I mean what else could I have done? She needed me at the time. She was going through a tough time on her own and I would do anything to help as best as I could.

I remember bursting through the hospital doors and yelling her name. I asked the nurses where she was and they led me to the waiting area.

“Only family members. Sorry, but that’s the policy,” they told me.

No matter how hard I tried to explain that I was family, that I was the father, they didn’t believe me and they wouldn’t let me through. After a wait of over two hours I finally saw the doctor approaching me.

“Hey, Adam. We have some mixed news. It’s not looking too good for Amanda; she sustained heavy internal injuries during childbirth. She most likely will not make it. On the other hand, your baby is pretty healthy. Would you like to see your baby boy?”

I quietly followed him to the nursing room, where all the babies are kept. We stood in front of the glass window and gazed into the tiny room with even tinier humans. He pointed at the one on the very left and told me that he was mine. I couldn’t look away he was so beautiful.

But he was different.

He was not like the other babies. He had almond eyes. A broad round face. A short nose. The doctor saw my expression. He knew what I was thinking.

“Adam. Your boy is healthy for the most part. He does however have a condition. He has something called down syndrome, I am certain you have heard of it before. If you have any questions feel free to call anytime.”

Within the next few days the hospital ran lots of test on little Jack. And then I finally got to take him home.

I had to start skipping school, and I fell way behind in all of my classes. My dad left me and mom when I was eight. My mom worked two jobs to help support the new addition to our family. I stayed home and kept Jack company. While he slept I did a lot of research on kids with down syndrome and the accommodations required.

For the longest time I felt guilt, shame and embarrassment.  I felt guilty because I knew Jack was different and I felt like I didn’t love him as much as I could have at first. I was scared to love him. I knew that we did not have the financial stability to raise a child with down syndrome. I was considering giving him away. I felt shame because I was responsible for producing a lesser offspring. I felt embarrassed because I couldn’t return to school, I couldn’t hang out with friends because I was stuck taking care of Jack. I put my mother through hell because I couldn’t keep it in my pants.

It was hard at first. I didn’t sleep many nights because he would cry endlessly. I didn’t know what was wrong and I could never quiet him. He was a fussy baby.

Then it got easier. I began getting the hang of things. I learned how to change diapers, how to feed the baby, how to keep him quiet when he wanted to cry. I learned how to comfort Jack; he loved it when I picked him up and rocked him gently.

Then I found a job. It was minimum wage at Tim Horton’s, but at least it was something. This gave my mom a break and she stayed with Jack when I was working.

One day I came home from work and my mother wanted to talk. She thought it would be best to give Jack up for adoption. We had a long debate about this and finally I agreed with her. Jack was too much for me. Even when things began looking better, it was just too difficult for me to handle alone.

Two days after putting him up, a nice couple was able to take him in.

Earlier today I got a tattoo. Two butterflies on my left shoulder. One for Amanda and one for Jack. The two things I felt that I loved most in this world. The butterflies represent change. I am a different person now.

A butterfly starts out in a cocoon, sheltered from the outside world, bundled within itself. Then it begins to emerge. And it is hard at first. You really struggle to break free of your old self, of your empty shell, to leave it all behind. Then the butterfly is fully emerged and is able to spread its wings for the first time. It is able to take flight and go to a nice place. It is able to start life again.

Today I am starting my life again.

Short Stories

       I decide to write two short stories because stories are a lot of work, but I really enjoyed writing the ones earlier in the course. 
       The first one is about a teen father who has a baby with down syndrome. I just wanted to show how hard it is to be a teen parent, especially of a child who requires extra attention. But as well I wanted to show acceptance and the joys of loving a little bundle of joy that you have created. Parenthood may be not be what you expect, but babies are pretty cool (when you're able to handle raising a mini version of yourself). 
       The second short story is about a woman who knows that love is wrong and unacceptable in the society she lives in, yet she is still in love. She continues to see her partner despite the risk. It is true what they say 'Love makes you foolish'. 

'Call Me Caitlyn'

'Call Me Caitlyn'

Bruce Jenner presents himself as Caitlyn Jenner to the world for the first time on the cover of the Vanity Fair magazine.

65 year old William Bruce Jenner went under the knife earlier this year and is now fully transformed into Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn has flowing brown hair, slim physique, smooth complexion and one hell of a positive attitude. She is said to be the embodiment of the modern woman, the symbol of personal freedom and the epitome of self-expression.

But are these claims truly valid? Or do they just reinforce the old fashioned stereotypes of womanhood. Caitlyn seems to me more of a high class commodity rather than an inspiration to people everywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not criticizing the fact that she (or he..) has transformed into a completely different person. I am not bashing transgender individuals and in fact I support Caitlyn for being so open about her transition and her feelings. I appreciate her going so public with this new chapter in her life and for allowing all of us to tune in and understand where she is coming from. I believe her being in the spotlight is a good thing in the sense that it allows all the other transgender individuals to feel better about themselves and feel more accepted by society and develop a sense of self-appreciation. I am certain many had doubts about choosing to pursue a new body and essentially become a new person, like Caitlyn had when she first came out of surgery. Her coming out so publicly and not being afraid to share her experience is somewhat admirable.

I just have a problem with the way she presents herself to the world. In the twenty two page story in the Vanity Fair magazine, Caitlyn introduces herself to the world for the first time. She is featured in a multitude of photographs wearing golden glittery dresses, posing in a sexy yet mysterious manner. On the cover of the magazine she is barely wearing anything at all. Within the story she is wearing skintight clothes, she is leaning on the sofa and peering into the mirror. She is presenting herself as a symbol of personal freedom and self-expression, yet she is falling into the entrapment of women by society.

Caitlyn is further reinforcing the stereotypes that women are no more than mere objects of sexuality. She is supporting the fact that women are held up against impossible beauty standards. She is upholding the limitations of the womanhood deemed acceptable by society.

Caitlyn is a 65 year old woman, yet she looks better than most 30 year old women. Through tons of plastic surgery she was able to become an almost doll-like version of a woman. She has plump lips, not a single wrinkle on her face. She has the perfect slim body that no woman can even dream of achieving naturally through what was given to her genetically. Caitlyn is allowing the media to portray what the ideal woman is meant to look like and act like through her.

Caitlyn is praised for getting plastic surgery to finally become what she has always wanted to be, yet many women her age, who undergo cosmetic enhancement to appear younger, are shamed for it. The media sets impossible beauty standards for the female population, and expects everyone to comply, yet when the women attempt to become the ideal woman in physical appearance they are mocked for falling susceptible to the mass media.

The millions of 65 year old women get absolutely no recognition whatsoever, no matter how distinguished they may be. And here is Caitlyn on the cover of the Vanity Fair magazine, getting all the media attention and what for exactly? She is only supporting the unrealistic and impossible standards set out for women.

As well, in the interview with Bruce’s four children, they describe him as being an insensitive father who has been absent for years at a time. And Bruce/Caitlyn openly admits to that and expresses regret. Her son, Burt says, “I have high hopes that Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce. I’m very much looking forward to that.”

But Caitlyn is Bruce. They are the exact same person. Bruce may now look like a completely new individual, but his personality remains with Caitlyn. Bruce’s past doesn’t just go away with his change. He is still present within Caitlyn and I am just shocked that his children are able to forget his nonexistence in their childhood and welcome her back with open arms.

I am simply baffled by their immediate forgiveness.

But who am I to judge those who I do not know? Those whose experiences I have never been through. I will never fully understand Caitlyn’s decision to allow the media to manipulate her to fit their vision of the ideal woman. And I will never understand the children’s readiness to forgive so easily. I simply cannot understand, but I can voice my opinion then move on. 

Flaws in Human Thought

Flaws in Human Thought

Let’s face it, we are not perfect. In fact we are far from it. And that includes our cognitive functions. Humans have flawed logic. We cannot think clearly most of the time. Our judgment is clouded by one thing or another. And you know what? At the center of it all, we are the main problem in the flaws of our thoughts.

Majority of the time we do not realize that we are the cause of our flaws. Or perhaps we just don’t want to admit that we are. Because admitting would be one step further from perfection. I know we all say that no one is perfect and that we aren’t trying to be, but I feel like deep down we are all attempting to be the most perfect versions of ourselves. I guess acknowledging that we strive towards an impossible goal would be like admitting our naivety.

I guess that is one of our flaws. We do not want to accept certain facts about ourselves. Facts that contradict our ‘perfect’ view of ourselves. Humans tend to ignore whatever goes against our versions of ourselves and this does not allow much room for self-improvement. The first step in overcoming a problem is admitting you have one, right? So how can we expect to alter ourselves for the better if we refuse to admit that we are flawed.

In my human growth class, we learned about how humans prefer a small immediate pay off rather than to wait for a larger pay off in the future. This is called hyperbolic discounting. That is flawed logic right there. We do not care for our future selves as much as we care for the here and now versions of ourselves. Perhaps we do not feel the need to care for the future us because we want to live in the moment. We want a good life for the present. We want immediate rewards and immediate gratifications because we never know what could happen in the future, so why count on the payoff in the long run if we may actually never get there. This could be in part due to our laziness because counting on a future requires thought and planning. Maybe it is because we value our future selves less because they do not seem quite as real as the present selves. Or perhaps it is our inability to be certain of the future which hinders our logical reasoning.

Uncertainty is a scary thing. Everyone is afraid of the unknown. Even the mere possibility of not knowing what will happen produces an instant undesirable feeling somewhere deep inside. For some reason incertitude makes us feel extremely uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than knowing that something negative will happen. I cannot explain why we fear the unknown so much, but if you just don’t think about it everything feels a little better.

Another speck in our otherwise seemingly flawless thought process would be the gamblers fallacy. Humans do not understand probability as well as we like to believe we do. It is somewhat similar to uncertainty. We are not confident about the outcome, so we hope for the best and try to forget that there is always a negative side to every situation.

People tend to believe that future probabilities are somehow altered by past events, when in reality probabilities are fixed no matter what. Like flipping a coin for example. The probability of the coin landing on heads is 50%, no matter if you got tails in the past three flips.

People believe in another thing called hope. We all hope for the favourable outcome and past events cloud our judgement of future events. We think that just because something happened so many times in the past, what are the odds that it will happen again? Or in case it is something positive we believe that it will reoccur or that somehow it is more likely to happen because we so desperately want it to happen. Like playing the lottery. We know the chances of winning are slim next to none, yet our the hope in a favourable outcome and the desire for a better life overrides our reasoning and proper judgment and we end up playing over and over again. Each time believing that our odds are somehow better than the first time. Each time finding a reason to justify our belief in the increased odds, like looking for a story online about someone who has won or talking to someone you know about a friend of a friend of a friend who knows a friend of a friend of someone who won. Like knowing about the one in a million lucky duck who happened to win increases your chances.

We humans are peculiar creatures who tend to avoid blaming ourselves for our flaws. Who tend to have difficulty accepting facts threatening our self-images. Who fear the future and the unknown. Who believe in hope and desire. Who have trouble with figuring out probability. Who allow our clear mental states to be shadowed with doubt, desire and dreams. We are flawed, there is no doubt about it, but we are human and accepting imperfection is what being human is all about. 

Journals

       I decided to write two journals because this is something I believe I do well. I enjoy writing journals and the two topics I chose are fairly interesting for me and I thought I'd share them with you.

       This first journal is about how humans tend to think. This is not exactly scientific, this is more personal speculation and just my thoughts on the human cognition.

       The second journal is about Caitlyn Jenner. I just feel like she is getting a lot of praise for what she has done, and not enough criticism for the exact same thing. I don't believe her choice to be wrong in any way, just that fact that she allows the old fashioned stereotypes surrounding women to be reinforced is what bothers me, so I thought I'd write down some of my opinions on this matter.

Global Warming; a Growing Problem

Global Warming; a Growing Problem

By: Elena Timakova

Thursday, June 4^th, 2015

Ice bergs in Lallemand Fjord in Antarctica. 

In recent years, there has been talk of global warming slowing down. In fact, 1998 was the most recent year of record warmth. Since then, global warming seems to have slowed down and become nonexistent in the minds of everyday people and even some scientists.

This has been described as odd by some since carbon dioxide emissions have been at the peak in the last decade. As well, this led to the somewhat false notion of a halt or a ‘haitus’ in the warming temperatures.

In addition, the ‘missing hot spot’ was a pretty big issue recently. Essentially, the temperatures in the tropical upper troposphere (about 5-15 km in altitude) have not risen as high as was anticipated and this was called the missing hot spot.

Unfortunately, recent studies and research have proven the ‘haitus’ and the ‘missing hot spot’ incorrect and that global warming is a real thing.

The ‘haitus’ can be explained in terms of oceanic current patterns. This past decade the oceans underwent a recurring change in their currents, temporarily slowing down the warming of the planet. This ‘change in currents’ phenomenon is not connected to the increase in greenhouse gas emissions and has no physical connection to global warming itself, hence it has simply been a bump in the road towards the inevitable rise in average temperatures on Earth.

It has been predicted that the atmosphere should be warming faster than the surface of the Earth, but with the missing hot spot, it has been shown otherwise. This leads to the doubting of global warming.

But in the past few years, there have been more and more news articles popping up discussing the increasing temperature changes in the atmosphere. Back in 2011, satellite studies have shown that the atmosphere was heating up. In 2013, weather balloon (radiosonde) data has shown that the upper troposphere is actually warming up and that it was not a fluke in the measurement instruments. The average warming rate is about 0.25ᵒC per decade, whereas at the surface the average rate is only about 0.14ᵒC per decade.

The average climate model predicted that the upper troposphere would heat at about 64% the rate that the surface would heat at, and the data is showing that the troposphere is actually heating at 70-80% of the surface rate, so global warming is really occurring faster than predicted. As well, this increase has been shown to be steady and consistent since weather balloon launches began in 1958.

However, one puzzle seems to remain. The satellite data show that the haitus happened at the atmospheric level, while the radiosonde data show that no such thing occurred. This has been explained by saying that there is another factor at play that we are unaware of or a factor that has not yet been properly accounted for. So climate scientists still have a few puzzles to work out, but seems like the ‘missing hot spot’ has been found. 

The Most Famous Physics Cat Now Has Competition

The Most Famous Physics Cat Now Has Competition

By: Elena Timakova

Thursday, June 4^th, 2015

In the well-known thought experiment proposed by Schrödinger in 1935, he presented a cat that is both alive and dead (in physics terms the cat is in a state of quantum superposition). The experiment goes a little like this; a cat is placed in a sealed box with a flask of poison and a radioactive material. If an internal monitor detects radioactivity (so a single atom decaying), it would trigger the flask to break releasing the poison, which kills the cat.

The most commonly used interpretation of the experiment is the Copenhagen interpretation. It states that the object (the Schrödinger’s cat in this case) in superposition stops being in superposition once observation takes place. This means that the felis catus is both alive and dead when the box is sealed, but it is either alive or dead once the box is opened and observation of the event may take place.

The quantum Cheshire Cat now follows in the paw prints of the famed Schrödinger’s cat.

In quantum mechanics; the study of the extremely tiny such as subatomic particles and the concepts of energy quantization—the concept of quantum superposition is very much accepted. The fact that a particle can be in two different states at the same time or in two different positions at the same time is strange and mind boggling, but according to physics, this concept is quite possible.

As the Cheshire cat slowly disappears and its smile remains, Alice exclaims, “Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

Here the Cheshire Cat effect is demonstrated. Initially you have a cat with its smile, then it enters the interferometer and the cat is separated from its smile in two beams, then the cat and the smile rejoin as they exit the interferometer. 

Physicists were able to create a particle modeled after the Cheshire cat in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. The properties associated with a particle may now be separated from that particle. This is similar to separating the smell of roses from the rose itself.

A team from Vienna University of Technology, led by Tobias Denkmayr; a PhD student, experimented with neutrons and were able to briefly separate the magnetic moment from the particle. A neutron has no net charge, yet because of its composition it contains a magnetic moment. One quark spins in an upward direction and two others spin in the opposite direction allowing the neutron to be susceptible to spin due to an outside magnetic field. This susceptibility is called the magnetic moment.

When a beam of neutrons was fired into an interferometer, it was split into two beams. The upper beam of neutrons had spins parallel to their trajectory, the lower beam of neutrons had spins in the opposite direction. After, the two beams recombined only the neutrons with parallel spins were chosen. This implies that these neutrons must have travelled through the top beam only.

If a magnetic field is applied, then the spins may be altered. So when a magnetic field was applied to the lower beam, it was ether amplified or canceled out, but nothing happened to the top beam. Meaning that the top beam couples to the measurement device and not the magnetic field itself, while the lower beam was sensitive to the magnetic field created by the measurement device.  

These results showed that neutrons went through the upper beam and their magnetic moments went through the lower beam, hence they became temporarily separated.

This phenomenon of separating the properties from the particles is called the Cheshire Cat effect. This can be useful if one wants to measure a property of a particle which is overshadowed by its magnetic moment. 

Articles

     

     I chose to write two articles because I feel like though articles I am able to express my 'sciency' side more so than through journals, memoirs or poetry. As well, on my articles I got the lowest mark out of all the assignments, so I thought I should try again and hopefully become better at writing them with practice.

       My first article is about the Cheshire Cat effect. This is a heavily physics based article and requires a little bit of background information on quantum mechanics. I tried my best to include whatever background I thought was necessary, so it should not be difficult to understand. Physics was probably my first love of sciences, although I will not be pursuing a degree in physics. Physics does not pay quite as well as becoming a doctor and nowadays physics is entering the quantum stage and quantum physics concepts are extremely difficult to wrap your head around.

       My second article is about climate change, specifically global warming. In recent years it has been thought that global warming was not actually happening and that it was all a huge misunderstanding, but now it is shown that it is a legit thing. I think that it is important to care for our planet and part of caring is understanding what is truly happening, so I thought it would be important to share this little bit of information.

Introduction

       Hey! My name is Elena Timakova and I am an 18 year-old high school student. Currently I am enrolled in a writer's craft course and this blog is the final assignment for the course. I am definitely excited for school to end and to move on to university, although I'm not excited about the debt that will pile up.        
       So next year I am going to McMaster for life sciences. The plan is to volunteer in a hospital as much as possible, get amazing grades and get accepted into med school by third year. That most likely will not happen; I will probably need my master's, but we'll see. 
       I am really into the sciences and this blog will reflect a little bit of that. I like to read old books by already deceased authors, like Alexandre Dumas, Agatha Christie and Oscar Wilde. I listen to mostly rock music, some of it is Finnish rock (didn't see that coming, did you?) and I love to spend time with my family and friends, but who doesn't?
       This blog contains three news articles, two journals, and one short story. I am not very good at poetry, so I did not include any poems and I'm not that great with talking about myself so memoirs were out of the question. I guess I just prefer to expose as little of myself as possible to others.